Children who find it hard to move around and have motor difficulties can have negative feelings because they can’t do things as easily as other children. This can make them lose confidence in themselves.
‘Self-esteem’ means how we feel about ourselves and what we think others feel about us. ‘Self-worth’ is another way to say this. If we feel good about what we do and about ourselves, we want to try hard and do well.
If you have used this advice sheet and not seen improvement after 4 months, please contact our children and young people’s therapy service.
Developing self-esteem
When teaching motor tasks to children, a common mistake is expecting too much of them. For example, when teaching a child how to use a tennis racquet, it is hard not to think of a tennis superstar and expect them to play like one.
For children who already find motor skills hard, trying to perfect difficult motor skills can be very stressful and frustrating.
Children with such difficulties need to learn these skills at their own pace with gentle and encouraging help.
Do not give too many instructions at once and avoid negative comments like:
- ‘Keep your eye on the ball!’
- ‘Don’t drop the bat!’
- ‘Try harder!’
- ‘Not that way!’
- ‘Don’t just stand there!’
When teaching motor skills, focus on one part at a time and give lots of praise. Use comments like:
- ‘Well done!’
- ‘That’s better!’
- ‘Try it this way’
Think about
- Are the skills being taught appropriate for their age?
- Is your child ready to attempt that level of motor skill?
- Am I giving encouraging feedback?
- Could the child take part in individual or solo sports which reduce the peer pressure?
The main thing to remember is that your child needs their confidence boosted. The purpose of encouraging specific activities is to give them a chance to practice the things they find hard in a caring and supportive environment where there is no pressure to be perfect in a set time.
Your child needs a chance to practice the skills at their own speed. To help them feel good and get better, activities should be fun and done when everyone has time and is happy.
Praise your child for any tries they make at a motor skill that is hard for them. They need these cheers to keep practising and getting better. The goal is not to wait until the ‘perfect result’ is reached before praising but to cheer for any tries they make. This is because children with these needs might give up easily.
Encouraging strengths
Every child is good at something. It is important to see what your child is good at and help them get better at it. It is easy to focus on what a child finds hard and forget about what they are good at.
Some children like to collect toys or play computer games. Others may enjoy making up stories. Notice what your child likes to do and think about ways to help them get better at it.
Remember, the goal is to help your child feel good about themselves. Let them know they are good at something and that they have their own special talents.
Last reviewed September 2025