Being okay with getting messy when playing is important, and having trouble with this can lead to problems with eating, doing art and craft, even going to the beach and playing on the sand. Some children need extra help to learn to cope with feeling different things, like getting messy. Movement, learning or feeling difficulties can affect a child’s confidence, as can their experiences.
Strategies and advice
Identify the textures your child can cope with and start to play with these, for example dry cereal, lentils, sugar or water, before introducing any new or disliked textures. For example, you may start with dry pasta, and work towards playing with cooked pasta, to pasta with a sauce.
Use play to support the child’s engagement so that the focus is on the game and not on the goal of getting messy. The more fun the game, the better. Try using farm animals, cars, favourite TV characters or dinosaurs.
Offer the new messy materials in small amounts at first, on a tray or table, so the child is not overwhelmed.
Let the child explore the texture by placing their hand on top of yours first, rather than putting their hands in. We call this ‘hand under hand’. As the child gains confidence, they will start to place their own hand in.
- Have a wet flannel or bowl of water available to wash off hands or toys as the feeling becomes too much for the child.
- Only wipe or clean if the child cannot be distracted or reassured – these are not your hands!
- Encourage, distract and join in so the child is reassured there is nothing to be distressed by.
- Empathise, because we are all different and what is tolerable for one person is unpleasant for another.
- Do short bursts of the activity regularly. It is better to do 2 minutes and have a happy experience than do 10 minutes and have tears. Negative emotional experiences are more likely to put off a child trying again.
- If you are using food, make sure there is good food hygiene. Sterilise toys in Milton or wash in hot soapy water so that food can be explored with mouths as well as hands.
Activity ideas
Follow this graded hierarchy when developing the challenge of textures.
- Easy (dry with no residue): Feathers, shredded paper, dry sand, shells, cotton wool, leaves, string, fur fabric. Broken pancakes, cereal, dry pasta, dry rice, dry oats, raw vegetables.
- Slightly challenging (dry with residue): Damp sand, glitter or sequins, silly string, chalk, play-dough. Icing sugar, dry angel delight, sugar.
- More challenging (wet but easy to wipe): Light shaving foam, wet sand. Cooked pasta, cooked rice, wet lentils, baked beans, jelly, mashed potato, ice cubes.
- Challenging (wet and sticky): Shower gel, shaving foam, glue, corn flour mixed with water, mud, finger paint. Melted chocolate, mashed banana, angel delight, porridge, custard, yoghurt, ice cream.
Last reviewed February 2026